It starts to show
by bleiddianmusic
Summary: "He did not answer. Not immediately. He seemed out of breath even though his body was resting still on the bench he had sat on moments before. His eyes were shut and his hair messy." [Social anxiety, friendship, implied/slight KagamixKuroko]
1. Pâle Septembre

**Disclaimer**: 黒子のバスケ © Tadatoshi Fujimaki

**Hello everyone! This is the first fanfiction I submit here, after years of inactivity on another account. I hope you'll enjoy reading this story despite its haze of melancholia. Thank you for stopping by! :) **

**Please feel free to give me your opinion and/or suggestions after reading~**

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**First Game – **_**Pâle Septembre**_

"I can turn off the lights. That is, if you want me to. Just tell me and I will. "

He did not answer. Not immediately. He seemed out of breath even though his body was resting still on the bench he had sat on moments before. His eyes were shut and his hair messy.

Kagami was leaning against the locker room door, faking composure. He knew better than to yell at Kuroko. After all, he was not supposed to stand there at the first place, a rule tacitly born between the two young men the day the redhead had witnessed the first fall. _Lunchtime, locker room, Kuroko. Keep out._ It was simple, yet he could not give in. Kuroko had got thinner. Frightened. Kagami knew better than to leave him alone. The small lad behind him was numb, barely reachable. He was angry, too.

Kagami knew it all.

"Don't, please. It's fine. It gets better."

"Does it really?"

He did not answer. Not this time. The redhead patiently waited for a while, before he let out a sigh. Kuroko was away. There were traces of fog in his swamp-coloured eyes. Slowly, Kagami took a few steps toward the bench, before sitting about a meter away from his friend.

"Kuroko", he whispered. "It starts to show. It's not fine."

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry!"

Kuroko shivered, flinched. The redhead bit his tongue.

'Nice one, smartass…', he thought. "Sorry, I'm sorry. That was harsh. Please don't _you_ be sorry. Whatever it is, we'll work it out. Maybe not we two, maybe you alone will. But something has to happen or you'll end up like mere dust. And if that's what you want, you better understand right now that this won't do. It really won't."

At first, weeks before, Kagami had noticed the slight weight loss around Kuroko's bones. The spark of fear on his face during fast basketball games. His scrapped fingers entwined, shaking hands, and seconds spent aloof whenever people were but a crowd in the hallways. The alleys he ran through. The fewer words spoken. Kagami saw it again, on that bench, as Kuroko sighed. The end of the line. A storm.

Kagami saw it all.

"Look," he softly said, "I won't push you. You're a tough one. But it has gone a bit too far by now, hasn't it? You're scared. You're almost starving. Perhaps you're right, and it is better to pretend there is nothing going on, better to stay locked up in here when things get out of hand. However, I refuse to believe there's nothing else we could do. I'm not saying it's easy. It's necessary, though. You cannot abandon your own self every single day, can you? We'll make it smoother."

"In my light sleep, I see a crowd. I hear it buzzing all around my bed when the room is empty and the windows are close."

He looked less shaken, or so the redhead thought. His words were mere murmurs but carefully spoken. His fingers tightly tied.

"To avoid the ghosts, I became a shadow. I filled myself up with wobbly glimpses of comfort and self-esteem. I met people like you and it enlightened the days. There was a stream of peace, flowing inside my veins and all over my skin, like a glass umbrella protecting me from the rain of fears set up in my head. And I thought, I truly thought this wellhead of safety would remain strong and still. Once and for all, you know? Yet, it all ran dry. I struggle with my own self. I can but escape in vain. It's like entering a forest in a dream and knowing that only waking up will ease the doubts. I wish I could wake up."

There was not much Kagami could reply to this. He remained silent for a while, before muttering:

"You rarely tell that much. I guess I'm glad you did."

Kuroko let a dreary chuckle escape his lips. _The end of the line_.

"Could I ever lie to you?" he quietly asked. "You would know. You always know."

He then drifted away again, losing himself into ravings Kagami could not access. His personal void. Even the school bell announcing the beginning of afternoon classes did not disturb the small boy as his friend gently put a hand on his shoulder. After seconds of uncertainty, Kagami spoke:

"Alright. Got it. We'll make it easier somehow. We really will. I promise you that. You can and should call me, whatever the time is, when the world drives you restless. I'll spend lunchtimes with you. We'll meet outdoors and away from the street basket grounds more often so that you will learn again how to confront the crowds. I've got a spare room you can sleep in anytime. We can even share my bed, if it makes you feel safer. It's okay. It'll all be okay. We'll get through it together, and I don't mean just the two of us; our teammates aren't blind. They probably know, but it's alright. We'll manage."

"I'm cold."

Kuroko's tone was shattered and nervous. Panicked. The crisis was building inside, once more, or so Kagami thought as he lifted his hand and cautiously carried it away from the short lad's bones.

"It's fine, Kuroko. Everything is fine. Just calm down a little and I will walk you home. Ditching classes is okay. These are not important right now. Really. If you need time, we will take some."

"I need time."

"Yeah."

"I'm cold."

"Eh… Please take it easy. Lay down, maybe. I can turn off the lights."

"If you do that, they'll come."

The redhead was about to ask: '_who?_', before he realized Kuroko was already aloof. There was this world he'd see around and that was all. Perhaps it had always been so. Kagami was not sure how to react, but he knew better than to disturb the cloud his friend was drowning in. He saw the pale skin and the bitten lips. He knew it all, he saw it all.

He kept his mouth shut.

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**"Pâle Septembre" is the name of a song written and performed by French artist Camille. A bit unusual, I agree. For the little story, I am the lead singer of a speed metal band. Not quite the same style! **

**Until next time, -Mirkku.**


	2. Wind

**Disclaimer**: 黒子のバスケ © Tadatoshi Fujimaki

******This chapter was writen under the effects of various teas, cakes, and creamy clouds wandering up the sky of Center Finland... A quiet summer day! **

******_By the way, Orangetabby101, don't worry! I swear it'll get better._ _Kagami said so, right? _;)  
**

******Dear readers, please enjoy this chapter~**

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**Second Game – **_**Wind**_

"Aomine, you truly are a stupid one, aren't you?"

"Come again?"

It had been an hour or so. Kuroko could not tell for sure. He was feeling a bit uncomfortable as he let his eyes wander on the ceiling in hope of an escape of some sort. A heavy rain was crashing on the window.

"Your knight can't move there, like I've told you before."

"And I can't play shôgi, like I've told you before!"

"What are we doing now, then?"

"The fuck would I know? _You_'re the stupid one, Midorima!"

"What are you two doing in my room?"

Kuroko's voice gave the boys shivers. Straight-forward as always.

Midorima and Aomine were sitting on Kuroko's bedroom floor. They had arrived out of nowhere. Like the ghosts. The stern-looking Midorima, followed by his dark-haired partner in crime, had been carrying a shôgi board around. '_Lucky item_', he had stated before even being asked anything. Typical. Aomine, moody that day, had shown that strange look of concern when his gaze met Kuroko's, but had quickly hidden it under complains of any kind. Kuroko was no fool; yet, he had been playing dumb, for an hour or so. He could not tell for sure.

Aomine sighed and stiffened a little. Midorima slowly pushed up his glasses, shook his head before he spoke:

"Well, as a matter of fact, we are playing shôgi."

"Or at least we're trying."

"Yeah, that's it. _You_ are trying."

"Right", Kuroko whispered. "I can see that. But did you really have to come here to play?"

"Of course we did", Aomine blunted, "because you're here, too. And we brought you ice cream."

"Technically, it's raspberry sorbet. Sorry we couldn't find vanilla."

"Yeah. Totally sorry."

The rain was the only resounding echo for a while. With his two friends waiting for him to reply something, Kuroko was confused and annoyed.

He stood up and walked straight towards the kitchen. The house was quiet. If his parents were spending the week-end away, Kuroko wondered where his grandmother was. Surely she had let Aomine and Midorima in, earlier that afternoon. She had met them quite a bunch of times. Kuroko had not heard the doorbell, lost in hazy daydreams he found hard to leave behind. His mind was cloudy as he opened the freezer and took the raspberry sorbet in his thin hands. _These_ _two guys_… They rarely got along. At least, not that well. But they _knew_, somehow. This Kuroko could tell.

"By the way, one spoon is enough. This is all just for you."

Aomine sat on the kitchen table.

"You need to flesh out a little, Tetsu. You seriously do."

"Aomine-kun, there are _chairs_ around the table. You know that, right?"

"Please eat the sorbet now."

It was about ten, that night, when they called it a day. After Kuroko had finished the sorbet, Midorima had pushed them outside to enjoy the view of the rain over the old bridge near Kuroko's house from a local noodle restaurant. They had all agreed then on playing one-on-one basketball games on the street courts nearby. Aomine had won, or so he had claimed. They had all let go of their umbrellas.

"Guys…", Aomine panted as he collapsed on a bench, a smile on his face. "We really need to go home now, I guess. We'll be dead sick tomorrow."

"I've already called a cab," Midorima said. "Want a ride? Your homes are on the way toward mine."

"For once: thank you."

"Thanks, Midorima-kun. How about your shôgi board? It's still in my bedroom."

"Keep it and teach Aomine how to play. I'd like to kick his ass outside of basketball games, too."

As Kuroko laughed a little, Aomine did not dare to reply. Yet, thirty minutes later, when Kuroko jumped out of the taxi they shared, the dark-haired man followed him closely.

"I'll just invite myself in tonight", he said. "I'm sure you understand why."

"You know where the spare bed is… Ah, Midorima-kun, how are we going to pay for the cab?"

"You don't worry about it. Take a shower, sleep tight, and try to cope with that stupidhead out there."

"Eh!"

The cab just drove away.

"The ghosts, right? It has been quite a while."

They did not bother to open the spare bed; Kuroko's was wide enough for the two to share it. Aomine was just done drying his hair when the smaller boy emerged from the bathroom and came to sit on the bed. He seemed really tired. A bit sick also. After all, the rain had been harsh and cold on their bones.

"I'm not sure you can all it ghosts… Those are just visions. They don't really exist."

"I'm relieved to hear you say so. Ghost stories are scary."

"Thanks for staying over."

"Yeah… You're welcome."

Aomine went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Kuroko had not noticed before, kept busy understanding the purpose of the fake shôgi game, but since his two friends had arrived unexpectedly, Aomine' sleepover bag had been waiting for its owner near the cupboard. They had planned it all. Clever.

Kuroko was worried about the night to come. His hands were shaking already, and it had been hard for him not to cry as they had forced him to eat before the street basketball games. He did not even understand why he had stop eating. Even though he could remain invisible, he would never disappear. This simple though made him feel nauseous, unbalanced.

Aomine crossed the bathroom doorway, stopped in front of the bed. Kuroko looked pale and defeated. Smaller than ever. The dark-haired boy took a deep breath to calm his heartbeat down. He then murmured:

"Is everything okay?"

'_Come on, Tetsuya..._'

"Tetsu?"

_A heavy rain, crashing on the window…_

"Sorry," Kuroko replied. "I'm okay."

"Eh…"

"It's fine. It'll get better."

Smiling softly, Aomine nodded and chuckled:

"Yeah, it will. You're a tough one, right?"

'_A tough one_.'

Kuroko laughed at that.

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**Coming to think of it, I should have called this chapter '_Water, sorbet, water and more water_'. But I was listening to Akeboshi when I started to write it, so... Yeah.**

**Next chapters will finally have a bunch of characters interacting at the same time, more action, more Ahomine wisdom and of course more Kise! We all need more Kise.**

**Please review~ Thank you! I'll try my best to improve this story~ :)**  
**Until next time, -_Mirkku_.**


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